When Tomorrow Starts Without Me
by x3Tinkerbell07
Summary: Peyton's had enough with her life and all the drama, so she ends it. How will the others react? COMPLETED!(maybe)
1. Slipping Under

Hey everyone it's me again. Here's another story that popped out of my head. Hope you all like this one as much as my other one.

She lay in the hospital bed alone. Alone was how she was going to die and it was all her fault. She had messed up the only friendships she'd ever had and she deserved to die all alone.  
  
"Peyt?" The door cracked open and a brunette head poked in.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Her voice was faint and distant.  
  
"I heard about you're accident and thought you'd need some company." Brooke walked into the room trying to seem happy and bubbly.  
  
"Oh, thank you so much for your concern." Peyton whispered sarcastically. It hurt to talk.  
  
"Peyton don't be like that." Brooke tried to reconcile with her old best friend.  
  
"Don't be like what Brooke?" Peyton was getting all fired up and it hurt to even think.  
  
"Peyton, I'm sorry." Brooke sat down in the chair next to her broken friend's bed.  
  
"I don't need your apology. I don't need you or anybody else." Peyton tried to sit up but every part of her hurt way to much. She felt dizzy and tired. She couldn't deal with this shit anymore.  
  
"Peyton, that's not it. I let things get out of hand and I just want my best friend back." Brooke took Peyton's tiny hand.  
  
"You don't mean that." Peyton turned away from Brooke.  
  
"Yes I do Peyt. Every time something good or bad happened who was the first person I wanted to run to?" Brooke paused not really waiting for an answer, "You, Peyt, but then I'd remember what you did to me and I just couldn't bring myself to forgive you."  
  
"I never meant for that to happen Brooke." Peyton turned back towards her friend feeling the tears run down her cheeks. She was too weak to stop them.  
  
"But it happened but I have to let it go now." Brooke felt tears threatening her own eyes but she had to stay strong for Peyton.  
  
"I'm sorry Brooke." Peyton squeezed her hand tightly as if it were her life support.  
  
"I know you are." Brooke knew that this was the end. She couldn't let Peyton die without telling her how sorry she was.  
  
The door swung open, ruining their moment. Lucas stood in the open door with flowers in his hands.  
  
"I'll give you two a minute." Brooke said despite how much pain it caused her. She was doing this for Peyton not for that son of a bitch cheating ex- boyfriend of hers.  
  
"Thanks Brooke," Lucas said holding the door open for her to leave. She said nothing in return but Lucas didn't even care. All he cared about right now was his Peyton, dying in a hospital bed.  
  
"Hey Luke." Peyton finally said.  
  
"Hey Peyt." Lucas eased his way to her bedside.  
  
"Are those for me?" Peyton asked seeing the bouquet of wild flowers.  
  
"Yeah. Do you like them?" He placed them on her chest.  
  
"I love them. I thought they were for some other girl that was dying in a hospital." Peyton tried to laugh her problems away.  
  
"Don't say that Peyton." Lucas was disgusted with Peyton's attitude.  
  
"It's easier to laugh about it than to feel sorry for myself." Peyton tried to explain.  
  
"Why'd you do it Peyton?" Lucas wanted to understand why she wanted to die so bad.  
  
Peyton laid there remembering the accident that was going to change her life forever.  
  
Tears filled her eyes as she accelerated faster and faster down the highway. To her disappointment there weren't many cars on the road. The traffic light turned red but she didn't care. She flew through every one of them. Tears began streaming down her cheek. She couldn't deal with life anymore; it wasn't worth living. That's when it happened. She came upon the last traffic light on the road and she sped up faster and faster, wanting to die more and more. Headlights blinded her and horns deafened her. She was hit on both sides and her tiny car was crushed, trapping her inside, alive.  
  
"There's nothing left to live for Lucas." Peyton felt the tears welling up again.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Lucas yelled in disbelief, "you've got Brooke, Haley, Nathan, Jake, and me. Isn't that enough for you?"  
  
"No," Peyton wanted so much to live right now but it was too late. Her fate had already been decided.  
  
"You're not the person I thought you were." Lucas was appalled by Peyton's behavior. He turned to the door to leave.  
  
"Lucas," Peyton felt the tears burn her eyes, "I'm sorry."  
  
This hit Lucas like a ton of bricks. She was lying in her deathbed yet she was still apologizing to him. How could he just turn his back on her?  
  
"Peyton, you've got nothing to be sorry for." Lucas returned to her bedside.  
  
"Yes I do," Peyton began sobbing, "I'm sorry for the problems I've caused between you and Brooke."  
  
"That was as much my fault as it was yours." Lucas felt tears form behind his eyes.  
  
"She was my best friend and your girlfriend," Peyton felt her soul slipping away.  
  
"She still is your best friend. She always will be." Lucas didn't want her to die.  
  
"No she's not. Not really." Peyton felt like she was drowning inside herself. It was like she was swimming and all of a sudden she got a paralyzing cramp.  
  
"Yes she is. When she heard about you, she called me crying hysterically. She regretted not saying she was sorry and telling you how much she loved you." Lucas tried to make her see.  
  
"Lucas, don't do this." Peyton didn't want to die crying. She wanted to die smiling and happy knowing that she had tied all her lose ends.  
  
"Peyton you need to know that we love you." Lucas took her hand just like Brooke did.  
  
"I know you do." Peyton whispered. Her breath was getting shallow and it was getting harder and harder to talk.  
  
"Can we come in?" Brooke and Jake appeared in the door.  
  
"Yeah sure." Lucas dried his eyes.  
  
"What's with all the long faces?" Peyton forced a smile, "Did someone die?"  
  
"Peyton, that's not funny." Jake said sternly.  
  
"Yes it is." Peyton even forced out a laugh.  
  
"Peyton stop it." Jake fought back his tears.  
  
"It's either laugh or cry Jake." Peyton said lightly.  
  
"Then cry Peyt. Show us you're only human." Jake pleaded.  
  
"I don't want you to remember me crying." Peyton felt the tears coming but she kept on that fake cheerleader smile.  
  
"Don't talk like that." Jake let a tear escape from his eye.  
  
"You know it's true. Let's not pretend that I'm going to make it out of here alive." Peyton wanted to shrug her shoulders but it hurt to bad.  
  
"Please don't go Peyt," Jake pleaded taking her other hand.  
  
"Jake, you know I can't cheat death." Peyton smiled squeezing the two boys hands.  
  
"Try, god damn it." Jake was so angry. How could she just give up on life, on him?  
  
"It's too late Jake." Peyton's fake happiness began to fade.  
  
"It's never too late Peyt." Jake began to cry. Brooke rushed over to comfort him.  
  
"I'm sorry I've caused you all so much pain." Peyton shifted, "Lucas go in my purse and hand me my wallet. I have something for you guys.  
  
Lucas did as she asked. He fished through her purse and handed her her over-stuffed wallet. She leafed through many papers until she found the one she wanted. When she read it over it brought a tear to her eyes.  
  
"My dad gave this to me after my mom died." Peyton wiped the tear away, "Now I'm giving it to you guys."  
  
She handed the piece of paper to Jake first. He read it through and began to sob uncontrollably. He passed the paper to Brooke who was equally upset by the piece of paper. Brooke then handed it to Lucas who was now trying to hold back his tears. Peyton didn't want them to remember her crying so he didn't want her to remember him crying.  
  
They all took her hands and just sat their letting her present to them sink in. This was it, the end and there was nothing anyone could do about it.  
  
"Guys," It was getting harder for her to breathe, "I love you all so much."  
  
"We love you too," Brooke squeezed the hand she shared with Jake.  
  
"Tell Jenny I love her too, and Haley and Nathan and everyone else." Peyton began sobbing and gasping for air, "Brooke, give him a second chance. He really loves you."  
  
"I will Peyt." Brooke wanted to fill her friend's last wish, but the truth was she didn't know if she could. Not after what he did to her.  
  
"I don't want to die." Peyton whispered before she took her final breath. She had gone under the water and she couldn't find her way out so she stopped trying; she stopped fighting. She saw a light at the bottom of the water and began to swim towards it. She found herself back in her hospital bed watching her friends around her expired body.  
  
Jake hugged her limp body yelling for her to come back. Lucas sat with his head in his hands trying to hide his tears from the others but failing miserably. Brooke just stood there hugging herself, looking at her once friend. How could she want to die and leave them all behind? She hated Peyton for leaving her but part of her wished she had gone with her.  
  
Peyton turned and walked towards the light stealing on last glance at her friends. The friends she realized she always had. She emerged from the light and on the other side was her mother, smiling and glowing.  
  
"Welcome home Peyton."

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In my other story I made Peyton kind of evil and people wanted me to kill her off. Well here you all go.

Peyton is one of my favorite characters in the show (until she ruined Brooke and Lucas!) so it hurts me to kill her :( but hope you like it!

Remember to review!


	2. Gone

Here's the next chapter. I hope you like this story because I'm having a lot of fun writing it. This story is turning out to be a lot about Brooke and her feelings and I'm finding it really easy to write. I guess Brooke is just a really easy person to relate to and express through words.  
  
CAcherrycola: I never seem to please! You wanted her dead so I killed her but as nicely as I could! Lol! Oh well, you'll either love it or hate it. I can live with that. I made Brooke not as sad as she would have been in normal circumstances. I hope this will make you happier!  
  
Lemonmeruingue: Here's a tissue...lol. I'm glad you like it. It's the saps that'll keep me writing this one.  
  
Haleyx23xNathanx23x: Glad you liked it but sorry you don't like the death. I'm better at writing sad things than happy.  
  
Onetreehillfan213: Glad I made you cry! It's people like you that keep me writing this.  
  
Christine: Thank you and thank you again. I'm so glad you like the story and my writing! Keep reading and reviewing.  
  
Lysser8312: I'm glad you liked it and I will definitely go and read your stories too. Thanks for letting me know about them!  
  
Cyberchick2007: My other story is called I Never Meant to Hurt You, so if you're interested there it is. I'm glad you liked it even though you like Peyton because I did too until the whole ruining of Brooke and Lucas' relationship.

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Black was never a pretty color. Brooke never liked wearing it unless it was slutty bar hopping clothes, but she changed her ways when she met Lucas.  
  
Today was different. The black was not to look pretty, it was for Peyton. To show her respect for Peyton, which she found she had little left. She hated Peyton for what she did to her and Lucas; it was something she could never ever forgive. But Peyton was gone now and they couldn't fix it anyway but Brooke regretted.  
  
"That bitch got what she deserved." Brooke repeated over and over in her head trying to convince herself that this was true. But who could ever wish this fate on someone especially someone who had once been her best friend? No one deserved this to happen.  
  
Then again, Peyton did this to herself. She wanted to die. She left all this pain and unresolved issues behind. Most of all she left her friends behind. Who could be selfish enough to leave your friends and family behind? Peyton couldn't handle the drama, the drama she brought on herself, so she took the easy way out.  
  
Was death really the easy way out? Brooke couldn't believe she was having such thoughts about her dead friend. How low could she go? She was battling her inner most thoughts because of Peyton. It's always about Peyton. Everything had to be about Peyton and when it wasn't Peyton wasn't happy with being the sloppy seconds. Or was Brooke the sloppy seconds because Lucas did love Peyton before he ever loved Brooke; if he ever loved her.  
  
Brooke shook her head, ashamed of herself. She should be mourning Peyton not bashing her, at least for today, her funeral. She tried to look the best she could for Lucas. She was going to get him back if it killed her. No she shouldn't say that; she was just sure she was going to get him back. She looked herself over in the mirror; she had gotten thin and pale. She looked like she was dead. In actuality, part of her had died and she used to think Peyton was her better half. Now she was just a skank and Brooke had handed her the title of 'Tree Hill Slut', which had formerly been Brooke's title.  
  
As she drove to the church she began fighting off tears. This was it; Peyton was really gone. Peyton's dad had asked Brooke to give a speech, being Peyton best friend. Little did he know that they were no longer best friends; on the contrary they were mortal enemies. But she couldn't turn him down; she had to show a little respect for his loss. She wanted to show Peyton one last time that she was the better person; she had class.  
  
Lucas and Jake were sitting outside the funeral home across the street from the church. They were both distant and distraught. They had both been captivated of her charm and essence but now that she was gone they had nothing to look forward to anymore.  
  
Brooke parked and walked over towards the funeral home. Almost instinctively Lucas stood up and pulled her into a tight embrace. She loved being in his arms. This sudden display of affection for her almost made her break down the barriers she had put up to close out all of the male species and blonde bimbos.  
  
"Hey guys," Brooke finally said weaseling out of Lucas' arms. Although she wanted him so bad there was this constant fear in the back of her mind telling her he'd just hurt her all over again.  
  
"Hey Brooke," Jake moved over allowing enough room for both Brooke and Lucas to sit down on the tiny bench.  
  
"I can't believe this is it." Lucas finally said after a long pause, "This is the last time we'll ever see Peyton."  
  
"Stop saying stuff like that, man." Jake didn't want to admit that she was really gone and never coming back.  
  
The three sat there in silence; Brooke staring up at the cloudless sky, Lucas' head in his hands, and Jake silently crying but with visible tears streaking down his cheeks.  
  
Jake never thought he would ever love anyone as much as he had loved Nikki but then Peyton came around and changed him. She made him want to be a better parent for Jenny. She made him want to find Jenny a mother and he wanted it to be Peyton. But in one night, it all changed; there was no more Peyton to love and no one to look forward to everyday, besides Jenny. Peyton was the love of his life and he had lost her. He couldn't save her.  
  
"Jake, Lucas, Brooke," Karen spoke suddenly from the funeral home's door, "There getting started."  
  
The reality was finally setting in for them all. This was really happening; it wasn't a dream. Peyton was never going to be there to graduate or get married or have kids or break up another happy relationship. She robbed herself of her life that she could have made so great and left everyone else behind to pick up all the pieces.  
  
The room was filled with Peyton's friends, family and peers that came to pay their last respects. Brooke never even knew Peyton knew all these people but she didn't really care. She just wanted Peyton to see what she did to everyone she'd left behind.  
  
"Let us join in prayer for our beloved sister, Peyton Sawyer." The priest began praying but Brooke couldn't bring herself to pray. She didn't agree with what Peyton did so how could she respect Peyton at all? It just didn't make sense to her how some people could hate themselves so much that they could even think of killing themselves; but most of all she couldn't believe that Peyton did it.  
  
"Now I call up the friends followed by the family to pay their last respect to Peyton." The priest ushered them up towards the coffin, "Then we will progress to the church for a mass."  
  
Brooke couldn't bring herself to go up and look upon Peyton's face. She couldn't even stand the thought of her anymore. She hated her so much for doing this to all of them. She hated what she had done to Lucas; he was a mess walking up to her coffin. Brooke watched with envy as Lucas kissed Peyton's cheek and then seeing him burst into tears. They were tears that built up from the night since Peyton died and now they all came out at once in a rush. Brooke, without thinking, ran to his side to comfort him. He was so broken; she couldn't bear to see him go through this alone.  
  
"It's just so hard to accept she's gone." Lucas whispered into Brooke's as he held on to her for support.  
  
"I know," Was all Brooke could say. What else could she say to make him feel better? She knew no words could heal his wounds.  
  
The mass dragged on for what seemed like forever but Brooke wasn't really paying much attention. She had a speech to give about her 'best friend' yet she had nothing good to say about her. She couldn't say that she was a selfish blonde bimbo who wanted the world to revolve around her and she took whatever she wanted no matter what the cost. She couldn't say she missed her and wished she hadn't taking her life because Brooke didn't care anymore; all Peyton had ever given her was pain, time and time again.  
  
"Now I'd like to call up Brooke Davis, Peyton's best friend." The priest motioned to a microphone that was set up next to the altar. Brooke froze; she didn't know what to say what was she going to do?  
  
People began to stare at her as she sat there holding her breath. She was sure she was turning purple by now but she didn't care; she didn't care about anything anymore. She'd lost her best friend and her boyfriend and it was getting to hard to handle, but she wouldn't take 'the easy way out' like Peyton had; she was going to stick it out.  
  
Lucas urged her to get up with a gentle nudge. She stood up and there was not turning back now. This was going to be the hardest speech she was ever going to have to make and for the first time in a long time, Brooke Davis cried.

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Remember as always to enjoy and review!! 


	3. When Tomorrow Starts Without Her

This chapter is short but I think this is the end of this story and I didn't know how to end it any other way. I did not write the poem I have worked into my story; the author is unknown. Please always read and review.

OTHforever03: Here is the speech. Hopefully it'll be to your liking and everyone elses. Thanks for reviewing!

hAleY-jaMEs-FaN: Here's a tissue! I'm glad I made you cry; that means I'm spreading the emotions! Thanks for reviewing!

Haleyx23xNathanx23: Yes the rest of the story is going to be about Brooke and her feelings. Sadly this is probably the last chapter so this will be as good as it gets.

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Brooke walked up to the microphone and her body quivered. Brooke Davis never cried especially in front of other people. The reality of Peyton had hit her hard and she was finally feeling like everyone else in the room. She was feeling the loss and the pain that everyone was experiencing and she hated it; she hated feeling anything for Peyton.  
  
"Well, I didn't really prepare anything because as most of you know Peyt and I weren't on the best of terms." Brooke's voice quivered causing her to stop, "but now I miss her."  
  
She paused taking deep breaths, trying to recompose herself. She couldn't continue like this, she had to be strong. If not for herself she had to be strong for everyone else in the church because they need strength the most.  
  
"Before she died she gave me something. It was a poem her dad had given her after her mom died. Though it won't bring her back, it might bring some comfort to all of the people she left behind." Brooke rummaged through her purse looking for the folded piece of paper she had shoved in there before she left.  
  
Finally finding it she tried smoothing it out before attempting to read it. It broke her heart when she read it in the hospital and she hadn't brought herself to read it afterwards. After Peyton died Jake took it and had a nurse copy it so they each had a copy. Lucas and Jake knew the poem already and just hearing about it brought tears to their eyes.  
  
"When Tomorrow Starts Without Me," Brooke cleared her throat before continuing on the rest of the poem, "When tomorrow starts without me, and I'm not there to see; If the sun should rise and find you eyes all filled with tears for me; I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today, While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say. I know how much you love me, as much as I love you, And each time you think of me I know you'll miss me too; But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand, That an angel came and called my name and took me by the hand, And said my place was ready in heaven far above, And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love. But as I turned to walk away, a tear fell from my eye, For all life, I'd always thought I didn't want to die. I had so much to live for and so much yet to do, It seemed almost impossible that I was leaving you. I thought of all the yesterdays, the good ones and the bad, I thought of all the love we shared and all the fun we had. If I could relive yesterday, I thought, just awhile, I'd say goodbye and kiss you and maybe see you smile. But then I fully realized that this could never be, For emptiness and memories would take the place of me. And when I thought of worldly things that I'd miss come tomorrow, I thought of you, and when I did, my heart was filled with sorrow. But when I walked through heaven's gates, I felt so much at home. When God looked down and smiled at me, from His great golden throne, He said, "This is eternity and all I've promised you". Today for life on earth is past but here it starts anew. I promise no tomorrow, but today will always last, And since each day's the same day, there's no longing for the past. But you have been so faithful, so trusting, so true. Though there were times you did some thing you knew you shouldn't do. But you have been forgiven and now at last you're free. So won't you take my hand and share my life with me? So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart, For every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart."  
  
The church was silent after she finished reading the poem. It was something they'd imagine Peyton to have had. Peyton had probably read it over and over everyday; it was probably the only thing that kept her alive all this time.  
  
Brooke looked around at all the faces in the church. Haley nodded to Brooke at her job well done. Karen leaned on Keith's shoulder sobbing lightly. Keith tried comforting Karen but it was no use; there were tears in his eyes too. Lucas hid his face in his hands to hide his crying and Jake just stared straight ahead at the casket that was left in the middle of the isle.  
  
"So don't cry anymore for Peyton because she really hasn't gone anywhere. She's still right here," Brooke pointed to her heart, "And this is where she will always remain forever and as Peyton always told me 'Dream as if you'll live forever and live as if you'll die tomorrow'. Love for Peyton; Dream for Peyton; Live for Peyton."  
  
It seemed that the whole church breathed with Brooke as she stepped down from the altar and back to her seat next to Lucas. They all had so much to think about now. About their own lives and how they should live them because no one knew how much longer they'd be here to do all the things they wanted to fulfill in their lifetime.  
  
There would all, indeed, live on for Peyton because she had touched so many of their lives; whether it was through her drawings, words, friendships or relationships. She would live on it the hearts of many; so in a way she never died, just disappeared from sight. But everyone that knew her and loved her always knew where to find her.  
  
At the cemetery Brooke laid a red rose on the top of the casket. This was it; the end.  
  
"Bye Peyt." Brooke whispered to the wind walking back to her car where Lucas was waiting.

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And so it ends. Thanks for reading this. There will probably be no more chapters but I might get inspired and add; so as of now THE END! 


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